eternally spotless

someone dear once told me that what makes life worth living are the highs and lows, the valleys and the peaks. it's a classic viewpoint: to appreciate light, you must embrace shadow. to savour the victory, you must relish loss. i vaguely recall seeing something similar in literary theory, something to do with oppositions: light versus dark, good versus evil, male versus female. then the classic oriental resolution of yin and yang in an organic harmony that does away with the tension of forces straining in opposite directions to achieve balance. sometimes, the concept of submission, as in aikido and judo, punctures a hole in the classic dialectics of western thought.

in a world of niches (and nietzsche, as it turns out), or compartmentalisation, comes a story written by charlie kaufman, he of "being john malkovich" fame. what if, he contends, we can take away our pain, that memory which causes unhappiness and angst? then we can start over, move on, live happy lives. what is beyond our control, however, is how things come full circle. even as we attempt to erase the memory of a beloved from our lives, kaufman contends that no matter how you try to escape destiny, you are inevitably drawn to the person you are striving to forget.

what attracted me to the movie "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind", aside from its starring kate winslet, an actress i truly respect and jim carrey, a comedian i admire for the breadth of his talent, was the script itself. the writer was able to capture the pathos of a heart that has known what it is like to love and lose. to experience the dizzying highs of love's first kiss and the crushing despair of love's demise.

"why did you go?" she asked him wistfully.
"because you said 'so go!' with such disdain," he whispered brokenly.
"oh... i'm so... sorry." she was crestfallen.
the silence between them yawned. the evening sky swallowed a star.
"won't you stay this time? to say goodbye at least?" she asked softly.
he hesitated on the footbridge, looking at the distant bonfire where his friends had set up camp along the shoreline. he turned slowly towards her beseeching face, peeping from the stairway. then he walked back towards the house.
she ran out to meet him, her voice tinkling like chimes. "goodbye, joel."
the sea breeze dropped, creating a space for him to speak.
"i love you..."

and as the movie fades into the credits, we see clementine and joel running happily through a beach covered with powdery snow, their heavily-coated figures receding into the distance.