litterbug

on a good day you can look at this and feel both wonder and some smugness --- give yourself a pat on the back while you sip iced tea and generally just feel what a work of art you are. or you can puzzle over the shadow puppets you've cast on the wall of cyber and real friendships --- which ones are real and which ones are mere projections frozen on the wall?

on a not so good day you can feel the sniffles coming on and the lack of sunlight casts a ghostly light on faces you pass on the street and shadows threaten in every corner of your sanctuary.

on a rotten day the kitchen light conspires against you, door handles snag on sore hips, the innocent chortle of hyperactive toddlers and desperately hungry cries of infants are indictments of your worst maternal fears and insecurities and you just want to call up your dad and blame him for all the shit hitting the fan.

have you seen those swirly colourful circles on lollipops, the kind that spins round and round so you are that dot in the centre that disappears the more mad the dance becomes? i could cross my legs in my comfy corner, adjust the glare of my table lamp and just let the tears slide down my cheeks and not feel at all connected to my heaving shoulders.

there has to be a case for a trash bin you can put at the foot of your chair, just because. then you won't have to bump into people or food along the way as hapless substitutes.

your honour, i rest my case.

omigaz

this site has been so neglected... by you!

but with one stop shops like multiply around, sites like these are merely redundant. and i am too lazy to consolidate photobucket with this. it's too much work.

i haven't the energy to find ways to woo you back to me. like the perfect partner, you will just come. i'll see you...

some things you just can't forget

Once upon a summertime

fearfully and wonderfully made

they fit perfectly in your arms, curves melting against your body, seeping into your bones your blood your heart

their eyes follow your every move, unblinking, steadily counting each minute you are with them as a singular chunk of eternity

you are their everything which in itself is scary --- such trust, such responsibility foisted upon you --- can you last?

they are miniscule expressions of enduring love and hope

their skin, their eyes, their voices, their small tiny hands and feet, their rotund bellies --- seen on anyone over 12 it is grotesque but in their onesies and rompers they are the cutest beings alive

when they coo and gurgle you know that no matter how you've screwed up in life, you can still make the most innocent and pure being happy

how simple are their ways their needs their lives --- why can't we stay little?

babies are special beings and my god, thank you for giving me another one to love and to raise! it's no walk in the park but after the first one, things don't look too difficult or daunting anymore. before i know it, my little kimi will be as big as his kuya mikka and i will wonder how time could fly so swiftly past.